End of Step 1 Misery!

Woooo I can finally say that I've survived the Step 1 crazyness and can finally resume a normal life!
I got my score report back a couple days ago and happy to say that I passed! A lot of stuff went on right after I took the Step 1 exam, including a total mental breakdown that resulted in me skipping out on Vegas. Long story but pretty much, that was a rough part of my life.

I'm not entirely happy with my score, but I'm glad that I passed by a decent margin. I got a few points below average and unfortunately, my score is in a little bit of a danger zone. I am going to match in some residency program, but my chances of getting into a top residency program are kind of slim unless I really get my third year scores and Step 2 scores up there. I have been working hard to get good grades and I am going to start studying for Step 2 as soon as I begin my first official core rotation, which is in July. I have a little bit of a break before then, during which I want to finish up a good chunk of my research project and get aligned. I have a meeting with my advisor in a few weeks to discuss where to go after my below average Step 1 score. I'm hoping he gives me some good advice on how to do well third year, where I can realistically expect to match, etc.

So yes, quite a short post but I can't possibly start splurging everything that's gone on for the past few months. We would be here literally forever haha. The only thing I will say is that I am quite nervous because class elections are in full swing and there is quite a bit of competition for the Curriculum Committee position, which I have held for the past 2 years. I did get elected two years in a row, but I'm a little nervous because you never know what may happen and also because I got marginally voted in my first year. There is a good chance I will get re-elected, but still. I don't want to get my hopes up too high. To make things worse, this position is the only one with competition so there will only be 1 loser in the entire election. I'm really hoping that's not me because that will be super embarrassing. I'm hoping my classmates think I did a good job last year, still like me, and will re-elect me! Eeeeek! :(

Stress Shopping & New Ulta Opening Goodies!

Soooo time is tick tocking down to when I take quite possibly one of the most important tests of my life. Yes, the infamous Step 1. I've been kind of behind since I realized that I had spent most of my study time religiously trying to memorize every little factoid in First Aid rather than trying to answer questions based on pattern recognition which is apparently what you need to do in order to ace Step 1.
Needless to stay, I've been working overtime to cram everything into my brain which means plenty of coffee and stress.
My study table is decorated with various coffee cups and my face is covered in stress acne. So what do I do when I'm feeling stressed out? Like any girly girl, I hit the mall. I went to Sephora and Forever21 and bought some makeup and a really pretty bright blue top. And since Ulta recently opened a new store in my neighborhood (just a dangerous 10 minutes away from my house) and I was already out shopping, of course I hit it up and bought some unnecessary goodies.

Not too much stuff, see :) Some of these products I actually needed, like a new shampoo and conditioner and the acne body wash. I decided to try the John Frieda line of Smooth Start shampoo and conditioner, which I haven't heard too much about but it was BOGO1/2 at Ulta so I decided I would give it a shot. Also picked up the Neutrogena Body Clear Body Wash since I have some zits around my neckline area I want to get rid of before my trip to Vegas. Excited to try it since I've been meaning to buy it for over a year now.

Of course, I also bought some makeup because I couldn't help but pass by the makeup aisles on my way to the checkout line. I bought the Physician's Formula matte shadow quad I had been meaning to try for a few weeks now. It has some really pretty brown mattes for everyday use that I"m excited to try. I've realized my eye looks have been over the top shimmery lately so I'm looking forward to matte things up for a change. Since I've been in loveeee with the NYX Butter Glosses lately, I bought one of their new shades called Angel Food Cake, which is a really pretty sheer pinky mauve that should be a good neutral for everyday wear. Since NYX products were also BOGO1/2, I also bought one of the NYX Mega Shine Lip Glosses in Nude Pink, which is a gorgeous light baby pink, but sheer enough so it doesn't make me look too washed out. The NYX Mega Shine glosses are my new love, next to the Butter Glosses. They're watermelon scented, super sleek packaging, easy applicator brush, look super shiny on my lips, are extremely hydrating and comfortable, and stay a long time on my lips. In love with them! 

Lastly, I also bought a new blush from Sephora. Since I was a little upset about not being able to get the Too Faced Sweethearts Flush Blush during the Ulta sale, I decided to get the Clinique Cheek Pop Blush Pop in Berry Pop (whew that's a lotta pops). They're the new blush line from Clinique and they're gotten rave reviews, so I had to try them out especially since I love gentle makeup brands. Plus, I chose the bright, pinky-berry color since I didn't have one in my collection and it should look gorgeous for this summer.

So there we go, retail therapy is the best. Now onto acing my Step 1 test and going to Vegas! Woop woop!

Refresh Button

So yesterday I pretty much hit rock bottom and decided it was about time I hit the refresh button on my life. I've been killing myself working nonstop for like 18+ hours. For some people, that works out just fine, but not me. Especially since I'm on my computer most of the time when I'm studying, either looking stuff up or making tables/flashcards.
I figured that it was about time something changed. The constant go-go-go thing had me eating junk food every night, migraines daily, insomnia, and overall just an incredibly high amount of stress. Not good at all, for my waistline and for my mind. I had been getting about 3-5 hours of sleep per night, which just left me dysfunctional in the morning.

So, this morning is the day I hit the refresh button. I went to bed a little earlier than normal last night after taking 1 Tylenol PM to ease my headache and lull me to sleep. The result = I got a glorious 7 hours of quality sleep. I woke up really refreshed and reviewed some Pulmonary stuff. Now I'm eating cereal and blogging. So far, a pretty nice day. No headache, stress, or anything.

The real test is going to come later today. It's a long day for me, since I have my ICS class from 8-10 and then another long class from 1-5pm. That and I'm behind on my studying schedule by about a day. I'm going to try my very hardest to work in between those classes and get at least the FA section of Musculoskeletal/Derm annotated, read, and finish making tables/flashcards. Sounds easy but it's a pretty tall order. I also want to get the Fungi section of Microbiology finished, but it's only 3 pages so that should be fairly easy. All that and I want to be in bed by 12pm sharp. That means leaving the library around 11:30pm and being in bed by 11:45pm. Whew, tall order I know. We'll see how it goes.

Also, as the second part of my refresh phase, I want to start eating healthier. Enter, LC's 7-Day Skinny Jeans Re-Boot. Basically, it's a week of clean eating. Drinking lots of water, exercising 30 minutes per day, eating cleaner food. And that should take a lot of water weight off and leave you fitting into your skinny jeans. For me that means:
1. 8-12 glasses of water a day (or around 3-4 bottles of water in my lil' Love Pink tumbler)
2. Less than 2000 mg of sodium per day (bonus points for under 1700!)
3. Exercising 30 minutes a day (whether that means pilates, elliptical, walking, whatever...just workout!)
4. Only 2 cups of coffee per day! One in the morning and one in the afternoon is ideal
5. Oh and also, EAT REGULARLY. I feel like this is 50% of what contributes to my headaches. I skip meals and then once the evening hits, my head is pounding and I get cravings to eat junk food. I'm hoping eating regularly and eating well really helps with this.
6. Lastly, sleeping 7+ hours is crucial. I'm hoping to sleep at the very very very least 6 hours, but 7 hours would definitely be ideal.

I'll be sure to post the results of my 7-Day cleanse :) hoping to fit into my Aero dark wash skinny jeans!

Current Read: February

To be honest, I got this book back in mid-December, but I had forgotten about it until recently. It's been sitting in the bottom of my backpack, since I had originally thought I would read it on-the-go in between studying. As always, that never happened and this book has stayed in the bottom of my bag for almost two months now. I was cleaning my backpack the other day and re-discovered this book and felt a twinge of guilt because this book is really good and I completely neglected to finish it in the midst of all my other responsibilities.
In a recent article, I read that instead of watching TV, playing on your phone, or surfing the internet before bed, it's better to read a book or listen to music to help you fall asleep easier. I've since put this desk on my nightstand (aka my dresser that acts as my nightstand), and plan on reading a chapter or two every night before bed. It's a short, cheerful book with 1-3 page "chapters" on different aspects of life and how to find happiness and balance within them. Oftentimes during medical school, I find myself extremely stressed out and that somehow translates into me being alone, depressed, and engaging in negative behaviors like binge eating, giving up, demeaning myself, etc. I actually got this book to help myself overcome all that inciting stress and to be more optimistic. I've read the first few chapters and it's quite affective at boosting my mood. I'm hoping that reading this every night before bed will help relax me, have positive thoughts, and relieve some of the built up stress/tension that's been accumulating due to all this studying. A very appropriate February read!

Perfect Snowy Morning ♥

So far, my weekend is off to a very calming start. It's snowing outside and it's such a gorgeous view from my seat on the couch, facing a large window. There's something relaxing about sipping warm coffee while staring at a beautiful snowscape. It's something that I don't think I could ever give up, hence why I want to remain in the Northeast post-school. 

Last night was a lot of fun. I'm glad I decided to go to my friends' joint birthday celebration at their apartment. It was nice seeing old friends again. I'm not in touch with them too much anymore because we sort of had a falling out (long story, cliques suck). We're all still on good terms though and it was nice catching up and hanging out with them again. I also drank a wonderful peachy drink my friend made, and it quenched my thirst for a nice cocktail. As for the rest of this weekend, my plans mainly consist of studying studying and more studying. A lot on my agenda unfortunately including Step 1 Pharmacology, studying for my physical exam written final on Monday, and studying for an endocrinology exam on Friday. I am looking forward to watching The Grammys tomorrow night though! Definitely one of my favorite awards show to watch, so it will be a nice break before next week's crazyness. 

I'm home for the weekend at my parents house because my car has been having trouble starting in these cold freezing temperatures and I didn't want to risk it breaking down again. I've had a few friends whose cars didn't start at all because it's been so cold outside. It's supposed to snow storm this entire weekend, followed by chilly temperatures at the start of next week. My old car definitely wouldn't have been able to tolerate that and I don't want the pipes freezing or whatever and having to shell out another $500 to get it fixed. So long story short, trapped at my parents' house for a few days now. No loss though since all I do all day anyway is be a hermit and study :( c'est la vie!
As for today, I had a very very very relaxing morning. Slept with no alarm to wake me up! I had a wonderful eight hours of sleep and brushed my teeth and washed my face as soon as I woke up before I got lazy. Afterwards, I had delicious breakfast of chicken nuggets (microwaved, not fried!) with warm coffee. Caught up on blogs, YouTube videos, and now I'm super relaxed and ready to tackle the day. 

Coping With Stress

As you probably deducted from my last post, yesterday was a pretty hard day. I had accumulated a LOT of stress over this past week with my relationships, Step 1, my weight loss, etc. And instead of moping around and binge eating while watching YouTube videos or Ugly Betty I decided to get out and go on a de-stressing road trip.
Here are some snaps from my latest de-stressing routine that I hope will help me in the future to prevent a stress-induced binge :)

First, I grabbed a small plate of nachos.  I figured that I would indulge a little bit so I wouldn't binge later when I went out. This is my favorite dip, the Tostitos Salsa Con Queso with some scoops. So delicious. And in all honesty, food is still my favorite way to de-stress and this baby came in only around 100-150 calories, so not much damage was done.

Next, I stopped at McDonalds to get some coffee. Hot drinks are super relaxing for me especially when it's cold outside, and this just totally hit the spot. For some reason, the #1 thing I love when I'm extremely stressed is coffee, no matter if it's decaf or caffeinated. It's kinda bad, but I just can't help my love affair. 

Road trip time! Another thing I love when I'm stressed is driving. For some reason, driving while listening to relaxing, melodious music really calms me. I had to go down to Oakland to drop off treats for my advising group, so it wasn't just a random trip. I put on some Ed Sheeran, sipped my coffee, and took a relaxing mini road. trip.

Annnnd on my way back, I stopped at Ulta. I figured I'd just complete my wonderful de-stressing trip with a little haul because when I'm stressed, I love shopping. Plus, I really needed some stuff so it was perfect. I'll do a separate post about that a little later. 

Sunday Night Rituals

This post has been long time coming. I've always wanted to designate one day out of the week to be my de-stressing/relaxation day. The issue is that my schedule is so hectic and erratic that it's hard to pick out one, recurring day to be that day. But I think that since boards time is coming up and my stress has been peaking, it's time to plan out a weekly relaxation day. I'm thinking Sunday just because it designates the end of a week before the beginning of a fresh, new week.

List of things to do on my day off

1. Cook dinner for the week
2. Clean/organize room
3. Apply Mint Julep face mask or bleach face
4. Catch up on blogs and beauty videos
5. Sift through Pinterest posts
6. Update and review calendar/agenda for the upcoming week

My 'Aha' Moment

Ugh. I’m so disappointed in myself. At first, I thought I was only craving a burger and fries because I was upset over my breakup, but no it goes way beyond that. I’ve realized that my food cravings only occur when I’m studying in the library. We have a cafeteria upstairs and I’m literally obsessed with their sandwiches and French fries, which are super fatty. On the bright side, now that I’ve realized my trigger, I’ve come up with a few strategies to reduce these hunger cravings and eat healthy while still being able to study in the library. I’m going to try and pack richer, more flavorful meals that are comforting to me and hopefully those will prevent me from running up to the cafeteria when my hunger pangs strike. I’ve realized I really really crave fried, fatty food when I’m studying or stressed. I tend to reason myself into thinking that if I eat a big fatty meal for lunch, I won’t have to take breaks to go get food and can study 6 hours straight. Really really unhealthy habit. So instead of packing salads and veggies, which aren’t really appetizing to me when I’m really stressed out during studying, I’m going to pack meals like pasta or frozen meals that are more appealing to my palate. They are a little carb-heavy, but it’s much much better than denting my wallet AND clogging my arteries with cafeteria food. And it’s a good start to what I’m hoping is progressive changes to my eating habits. I’m going to try and employ this strategy this upcoming week and I’m hoping that these work. I think that if I can successfully stop eating so much at the cafeteria, I’m definitely going to accelerate my weight loss. While I’m super disappointed in my lack of self control when it came to fatty food this week, I’m glad I’m able to recollect my thoughts and re-adjust and plan ahead instead of totally being dejected and giving up on my diet like I have in the past. I think that not giving up is really challenging during setbacks and this was a really good exercise in how to overcome roadblocks. I’ve been a junk food addict for the past 3-4 years now and I knew this habit wouldn’t be easy to break. I’m glad I’m trying my best and taking baby steps. I’m glad I was able to look back at my eating this week and reflect on how I can improve. No major damage was done this week and I think I’m even starting to look a little slimmer around my waist but like I said, if I can stop making trips to the hospital cafeteria, that weight loss will be even more drastic in the future. 

Post-Exam Meals and Studying!

Lots of things to update about! I took my Musculoskeletal/Derm exam yesterday and boy was that a nightmare. A lot of students and I felt as if we hadn't heard of half the stuff on the exam, so I was quite worried about failing right after I completed the test. Crazyness. I don't know though, I feel as if the average is going to be low, and I think I should be fine. To brighten up my day, however, I had a delicious lunch at Nicky's Thai Kitchen. The photo above is a snapshot of my yummy (and beautiful!) meal, cashew nut chicken with white rice. I ate worse than I expected on Sunday, so I decided to lighten things up on yesterday and opt for a chicken/veggie dish rather than indulging in fattening yellow curry. I'm so proud of myself for not caving in! I even skipped the super-salty soup they gave as an appetizer!

As a diet update, I think I'm finally dropping some weight! A lot of it is probably water weight, but still, I'm so excited to see some of my stomach bloat drop and my jeans fit a smidge better. My legs feel a lot skimmer in jeans, but my waist is still a little tight. The fat area around the waist is always lost later so I'm not too worried. This is coming up on week 2 of my diet, and I'm really happy to see progress already! I'm not getting too excited because I still have a lot of work to do, but this proves that my efforts are paying off!

Also started studying for Step 1 yesterday!! Only got through 2 sections of Pathology, so I think I need to speed up a little bit. It's a lot harder than I anticipated since I don't remember learning ANY of the stuff I went through yesterday. I rather spend longer on my first pass through the material so that pass #2 and #3 will go by a little smoother and be more of a review than learning things for the first time. Another full day of studying planned today :( but, new episodes of Ravenswood and Pretty Little Liars tonight! So exciting! :)

New daily routine!

Figured it was time to organize my life a little bit more and chalk out a typical day kind of routine.
By no means will I be following this every single day of the week, but it's gonna allow for some structuring of my work week, typically Mondays-Fridays. Right now I wake up whenever, study whenever I'm not lazy and hope for the best. Not anymore! Time for some serious schedule re-organization!

6:00-6:30 -- wake up, take medication, brew coffee, check emails, look at daily schedule
6:30-7:00 -- eat light breakfast, check emails, look at daily schedule
7:00-8:00 -- exercise
8:00-9:00 -- shower, get ready
9:00-12:00 -- class/study, snack
12:00-1:00 -- light lunch
1:00-5:00 -- class/study, snack
5:00-6:00 -- light dinner
6:00-9:00 -- class/study, snack
9:00-11:00 -- relax, catch up on shows/youtube, check next day schedule