Spa Night!

Whew, it's undeniable that the past few weeks have been stressful as hell. Lots of studying, late nights, early mornings, and a hell of a lotta coffee (my boyfriend essentially because I always have it with me). So I thought that tonight would be the perfect night to treat myself and take the whole day off to bum around and do some spa-like things. I just had a test this morning and boards prep time goes into full-time mode starting Monday, so tonight was one of the only free evenings I had for a little at-home pampering.

First things first, I came home to my parent's house and hung around with my family. I'm definitely glad I have them by my side to help me through this crazy period in my life. They're always there for me and cheer me up whenever I'm feeling down. Things with my friends have been crazy this week and I've been very emotional and depressed, so it was definitely nice to come and be welcomed and loved. After playing Monopoly, sipping coffee, chatting with my mom, and eating dinner, I took a nice hot shower. I normally like taking bubble baths when I'm stressed because they relax my muscles, but I just felt like taking a long shower instead for some reason. Felt absolutely amazing and immediately dissolved a lot of my stress! Afterwards, I treated my knotty hair to some argan oil spray and got to work detangling it with my wide tooth comb and Wet brush. Now it's super silky smooth, hydrated, healthy, and completely knot-free. Works out perfectly since I plan on curling my hair for a party tomorrow night. My hair's been so dry and tangled for the past few weeks that I feel much better now that I don't look like a caveman and now that my hair doesn't feel like steel wool.

Next, I lathered myself with some of my favorite Lavanila body butter. Oh my goodness, the smell itself can just put me in an instantaneously good mood! It smells like sugar cookies and much much sweeter than any other vanilla body cream I've ever used. I like it a lot better than the BBW Warm Vanilla Sugar body butter, although the smell of that body butter is divine in its own way. I literally cannot stop smelling myself every five minutes. Plus, my skin feels so moisturized and smooth now. Definitely a treat since my skin has been parched for the past few weeks!

I also wanted to finally open my Mint Julep mask that I had been meaning to use for about two months or more now. I applied it as a mask for 15 minutes and was a little disappointed at how dry it left my skin. My pores were giant craters and I had little bumps on my forehead. I put a lot of my nighttime moisturizer on and I must say that my skin does look more radiant and supple now. However, since this mask does a great job at drying up acne, I'm probably going to start using this as an overnight spot treatment for my pimples. We'll see how my pimples do tomorrow. Hopefully smaller and/or drier!

After that wonderful hour of pampering my hair, body, and face, I'm laying in my warm comfy bed listening to Colbie Caillat while writing this post. I feel so much more relaxed and happy now! I'm so glad I was able to set aside a few hours to have this little spa night because it was definitely much needed before the craziness of boards officially goes into full stream. But that's for tomorrow's plate. For tonight, I'm looking forward to my 8+ hours of sleep and sleeping without a damn alarm on! :)

Today ♥

Today is the day I stop feeling sorry for myself.
Today is the day I stop thinking about all the regrets in my life.
Today is the day I start thinking positively.
Today is the day I start eating nutritious food, not salty garbage.
Today is the day I start feeling happy for everything I have in my life.
Today is the day I stop thinking about all the things I wish I could change.
Today is the day I start enjoying my life.
Today is the day I say thanks to God for all he has blessed me with.
Today is the day I feel happy and grateful for being alive.

Life Moves On

I wasn't originally going to blog about this, but it has been on my mind nonstop for the past few days so I thought I would go ahead and write to spill my thoughts. This post is going to be quite depressing, which is why I was so hesitant to write this, but since it has literally been eating away at my brain, I thought I would go ahead and write about it.

Coming into medical school, I thought things would be different. I thought I would finally find a close group of friends that I could call my best friends. Initially, everything was going perfectly. I had a tight group of ten friends that I loved to hang out with. But, then natural order happened and everyone in our group started to form little "mini-cliques" as I call it. I felt as if I was the one in the middle, like I was friends with people from both sides. But then I started to realize that the group of girls didn't really like that and started to exclude me. Especially after spring break, when I went to NYC with two of my friends instead of on a cruise with the girls. Things got worse in the summer when I wasn't even invited to any of their events anymore. At the time, I was also becoming closer to another couple of guys who were super fun and chill to hangout with. I figured that even though I had lost my friendship with the girls and my initial group of friends, I had found a new one and things would be okay.

But then a few days ago, things kind of went south for me. Actually, things had been going south for about a month or so now. One of the guys in my group I considered my best friend here kind of started acting really vicious and making really offensive comments. It started off as a joke, but eventually progressed into really being cruel and hurtful. Things escalated a lot yesterday when he told me that he was clearly my only friend left and now I had strong-armed him into leaving me and I basically had no more friends left. At first I was really angry and brushed off what he said. But now as I think, he's absolutely right. I had poured all of my attention into my friendship with him only to be disrespected and realize that what we had was a one-sided friendship where I did everything he said and we did what he wanted, when he wanted, with who he wanted. I basically realized that I had given him control of my entire life and had become obedient to him. I really do have no other friends but him. It sickens me to think that I've been friends with someone negative and mean like that for so long now. There is  no way I want to resume my friendship with him, but I desperately pine for new friends. For friends who actually respect me and care about me. And for once, I actually want a GROUP of friends. Not random friends, but a group of friends that I always hangout with, pre-game with, go to events with. I want to be part of a clique. I want to belong somewhere, not just be a wanderer. The friends I had in my initial group have all moved on. One of them was my roommate, who is now dating someone and hangs out with his friends only. So she's moved on. The other one has a girlfriend and his own set of close friends. He's moved on too. He still invites me to things he plans and we still talk, but it's not the same. I feel like I'm the only one who got burned. Everyone else has moved on but here I am alone and without friends to call my own.

I'm not saying that my life is horrible by any means, because I definitely have some great things in my life like my family, my school, God, my old friends from undergrad and high school. I'm so blessed and fortunate to have the opportunity to go into this wonderful career of medicine and be able to impact people's lives and help them be the best they can be. I'm so fortunate to get that experience. Sometimes I'm even incredulous to find myself here since there's a LOT smarter people on this planet than me. I definitely have a lot going for me and have old friends who are there for me, but I really do wish I could find a group of friends in medical school. It would make things so much easier when I see my old group getting dinner together and making plans and laughing, while I'm left staring at them. It would be nice when my roommate tells me she's going on a date or going to a party with her new group of friends. It would be nice to have someone to talk to and depend on and invite to do something with. I know I have a pushover personality and people walk all over me, but I really do want to find people who treat me like I deserve. I'm sure I will find that someday. But for now, I'm going to walk with a bruised heart and try to be strong again. Right now, I will focus on myself, my self-image, and my education. I'm glad for all the beautiful people I do have in my life and who have stuck by me through thick and thin. And I'm grateful for God for blessing my life everyday and helping me see that there's so much more to life.

Loose Pigments Mineral Makeup

Makeup Used

BareMinerals Concealer in Tan 2

BareMinerals Prime Time Eyelid Primer

BareMinerals Eyeshadow in Queen Tiffany

BareMinerals Blush in Golden Gate

BareMinerals Marvelous Moxie Lipgloss in Smooth Talker

This was my very first time using loose pigments and honestly, it was a lot easier to apply than I thought it would be! I used a loose pigment eyeshadow and blush, both of which were from BareMinerals. Considering the fact that I"m not the most careful makeup-applier, I was a little scared to apply loose pigment makeup. But, the other day I decided it was time for a little challenge and change, so I picked up this cute little BareMinerals kit a couple weeks ago with a loose pigment eyeshadow and blush.
The eyeshadow color is absolutely beautiful, although it didn't show up that well in the picture above. It's a beautiful almond-taupe color that actually applies really sheer compared to higher quality pressed eyeshadows. I guess that's one of the caveats with loose pigments? Unless it's just this shade. In any case, it was really really easy to apply with a stiff, flat eyeshadow brush and didn't fall out at all even when I patted it on my (primed) lids. As far as staying power, it did crease a little tiny bit 8-10 hours after application, but the color was still there and evident.
The blush was also really easy to apply. It was a peachier, apricot-toned blush. I actually really liked this blush color with my skin tone. Really flattering. Again, it applied very softly and evenly. The last time I remembered using a loose pigment blush was when I was 15 and I remember the color being very harsh and patchy appearing. None of that with this blush though, partially because of its soft color. Definitely going to be a favorite this spring and summer!

All in all, I'm quite impressed with loose pigment makeup! Definitely less scary than I thought it would be. I'm excited to try more loose pigment eyeshadows in the future and even more blushes. One of the things I really love about these types of blushes is that they're really pure and made with only a few ingredients. They don't have any of the filler, preservative stuff that's in pressed blushes. That's one of the reasons I initially fell in love with BareMinerals and I'm definitely excited to try some new stuff from them!

FOTD: Brightening Everyday Look

I know I've been slacking on posting, but things have just gotten so busy lately! Ugh honestly this past week has been so crazy with Step 1 studying on top of repro studying on top of all the meetings and small group sessions that I'm really slacking in the self-care department. So I'm chalking tomorrow evening as being an evening off and I'm looking forward to painting my nails, bleaching my face, shaving (yeah yeah judge away), fixing my brows, catching up on Pinterest, and the works. And maybe even catching up on the laundry list of emails I have to send out.  

I figured that today I would do a FOTD post, which would motivate me to get a little more jazzed up than usual. I did a full makeup look today - eyes, face, and lips. However, this post is more of a "Products of the Day" post since I'm not going to post a photo of the "after" look since I'm running a little late (have my OSCE's today, ahh!!) and won't have time to take photos of the completed look.

Anyway, this look was meant to be a light, natural look. I chose to brighten my eyes with a shimmery champagne shadow and keep the rest of my face pretty natural. Popped some light pink blush on my cheeks and topped my lips off with a rose-tinted lipgloss. Again, I know this post is kinda sucky since there aren't any pictures of the completed look, but take my word for it -- these products together make an absolutely beautiful natural look that brightens up your eyes and makes you look really awake. 

Skincare (not all products are shown above)

Clinique Acne Solutions Foaming Cleanser + Toner

Aveeno Smart Essentials Daily Moisturizer SPF 30 

Clinique All About Eyes Rich Eye Cream

LUSH Lip Scrub in Bubblegum

Makeup

Bare Minerals Correcting Concealer in Tan 2

Urban Decay Primer Potion 

Stila Vibrant in Vancouver Palette -- I dusted the middle, champagne-colored shadow all over my lid

L'oreal Voluminous Full Definition Mascara

Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in Dollface

L'oreal Le Gloss in Really Rose

Valentine's Decorations! ♥

Wooo! I finally put up my Valentine's decorations! And by Valentine's, I really mean all of February and probably my new default decorations haha. I absolutely love anything pink and heart-patterned, so it's no real surprise that my favorite type of decorations are V-day decorations. In fact, I had to really stop myself from buying every single adorable decoration (which was literally every other item I saw) in the store. But overall I'd say I did a pretty good job restricting myself to only buying a few things. My room is quite big and overall, it's very very pink so any decorations or seasonal changes in colors unfortunately get drowned out quite easily. But, I guess the fact that nearly everything I own is pink, it gels well with the Vday theme going on. 

I chose a few key parts of my room to decorate, since these decorations will only last about a month. I chose to make an adorable heart pick bouquet, decorate my closet door with hearts, and found a pretty heart-shaped pillow. 

Guess I'll start with the first thing you see when you walk into my room. I found this cute little plushy heart pillow at the Dollar Tree and realized how perfect it would go with my room decor. I initially had it on my door handle, but I think by my bed adds a nice little zing. 

Next up, my heart bouquet. I found some heart-shaped picks at Walmart for $1 per four pack. I bought two packs and then found a vase at the Dollar Tree. I initially was going to use this vase for my eye makeup brushes, but when the picks didn't really fit in the mug I wanted to put them in, I realized that the vase would be much better suited for the picks. I love love love the way this looks! I think this would make a great decor piece in our common room or kitchen once the Vday season is over. I usually put seasonal picks at the corner of my desk, so they most likely won't stay in my room past February. So gorgeous though, and only $3!!! And of course, my favorite Christmas Cookie candle is let right next to it, making it look that much more gorgeous :) 

I found these glittery hearts at the Dollar Tree and although they're meant to be table scatter, I thought they would look amazing on my closet door, which happens to be one of the focal points of my room. I spent about an hour trying to figure out the best way to organize these on my door, but kind of struggled. I wish I had another pack of these! I think making them look like falling heart strings looks quite flattering. I wish I had another pack, possibly with smaller hearts, to fill into the spaces. That would look absolutely gorgeous! I might toy around with the arrangement a little more, but so far I think I kinda like way the best. 

And lastly, these aren't decorations, but these is the fragrance bulb and shower gel I have planned on using this month. For my common room/kitchen fragrance, I chose Winter Candy Apple because it is such a sweet, candy-like smell that is really nice for the season I think. It melts away the winter blues and I don't know...something about the smell just seems perfect for Vday. As for my shower gel, I really think the Sandalwood Rose is a really nice scent for the romantic season and it's perfect because I currently feel quite stressed out with all the Step 1 stuff and this scent should be nice and calming in the shower.

So that's it! My decorations for now up until mid-March most likely. I'm really excited because I got a 20% off coupon from Jo-Ann Fabrics that expires in early March, so it's gonna be great for a nice spring-time decor haul. I'm probably not going to get anything too exciting, maybe just a few new picks for my vase, a spring-themed fleece blanket, plastic flowers, etc. Maybe even some fresh flowers for the new season. Also, trying to get some more crafts done, like my long overdue heart poster and photo album. Definitely next on my to-do list!

Resolutions: January Update

January has been both a good and bad month. Here's a recap of the resolutions I wanted to work on this year and my updates on how I've been doing with each of them. Overall, I've been making progress in each department, but not to the level I want. But, I'm still proud of myself for taking the initiative to try and better my life, and I can say I genuinely have been trying in each category. Lot of room for improvement, but definitely a few steps better than last year so far.

#1: Weight Loss

Ayyy, okay. This one has been tricky. I knew this would be my hardest goal of the year and it really is proving to be quite challenging due to multiple reasons. If I had to estimate how many pounds I think I have shed, I would say about 2-3 pounds. Yes I know it doesn't sound like much and hell I don't even know if it's accurate. But I will say that even though my waistline hasn't decreased dramatically, I have learned many many many things this month about the way my body works and what works and doesn't work for me. 

The biggest lesson I've learned this year is realizing the roadblocks that prevent me from losing weight. I've come to realize that my biggest roadblock to losing weight is FOOD. Fucking food. I will admit that a few years ago I had a nasty fast food addiction and even though I think I have overcome it, it's still something that keeps cropping up with stress. I realize that my biggest triggers to eating junk food are 1. being stressed out while studying, 2. being home at my parent's house which contains 99% processed food. Luckily, both the situations can be improved with some work. I'm thinking about studying in my apartment for the next week. I realize that even though the library is where I get most studying done, it's bad for my diet because I get stressed out super fast and come up with some shitty excuse to binge eat at the hospital cafeteria. But, when I study at home, I'm limited to the food I have at home, which is all healthy. Plus, it's really really good for saving money as well, which is another resolution of mine. The second situation can be improved simply by going home less. I need to learn to be independent and that's one of the ways I can start doing it. I love being with my parents and brother because they're one of the only people in this world who love me and accept me for who I am. But, it's really unhealthy because my hygiene goes down, I eat really bad at home, and it deters me from growing up and facing my problems here in Oakland. So, I think I need to restrict my long-term home visits to 1x a month or so and come home 1x per week for Zumba and an evening with my parents. 

Secondly, I need to stop eating out so much. I love seeing my friends, but all the dinners and eating out aren't helping me with my weight loss at all. I need to restrict my outings to dinner 1x a week and then meet up for coffee or something light if I have other social commitments. Luckily, I don't think I have too many social activities planned for this month because it is so busy and stressful.

I just bought my dress for the medical school formal and it's a little tight so I'm hoping that gives me some incentive to lose a little bit of weight this month to look sexy and toned in the dress. I'm really really really hoping for a 5-10 pound weight loss this month now that I've realized my two biggest setbacks.

#2: Capturing memories

Ehhh I've been okay at this I suppose. I have been taking a couple pictures of each memorable/social event I go to. For example, I took photos of my friends' birthday party, my Superbowl cupcakes/, the Chinese New Year party, but I never seem to get any of me with other people. It's always just of other people and random things. That's something I want to improve on this month....learning to ask others to take pictures of me with my good friends so I can cherish those pictures and memories forever. 

#3: Keeping up with old friends
I've been doing a fairly good job with this one so far. I haven't hung out with too many old friends because it's been such a busy month for me, and I've been studying a lot more than usual. But I have messaged/Facebooked/texted a number of them. I've also gotten lunch with one of my good friends, Liz, a couple times this month which was tons of fun. I love catching up with old friends :) Hopefully I can keep the trend up in future months.

#4: Processed foods, refined sugars
Doing okay with this one. I went to my parents' home for 2 weeks in the middle of January because of the cold temperatures. They don't really buy a lot of wholesome, organic-y food so I wasn't eating all that well. I did eat dinner at home though, which my mom made fresh every night. My breakfast, lunch, and snacks were mostly all processed though unfortunately :(

#5: Sleeping 7+ hours a night
Yes! Finally a resolution I did well in this month! I've been sleeping roughly 7-8 hours most night and it feels absolutely amazing. Sleeping properly definitely keeps my mood high and my spirits well, and helps me focus on school much better. Best change I've made all month.

#6: Credit card expenses
Ummmmm....not so well unfortunately. I was buying a lot of books and groceries for baking, so unfortunately this wasn't all that well. Also, I've been going home a lot so gas expenses were high this month. I'm really really really gonna try harder at this in February though. Hoping to also start using more cash for tiny expenses like coffee. Also, I'm hoping to stop buying so much food outside and eating out so much, which will definitely help my weight loss goal. As far as beauty purchases, I did buy some goodies at the end of January because of the good coupons and deals going on, but this should mean that my Feb-March beauty expenses will be less.

Spring 2014 Beauty Haul

Over the past few days, I've been loving the amazing new products coming out for Spring 2014 and the awesome coupons. Some of my must-have products that have on my bucket list forever were on sale and on top of it, I had an extra 20% off coupon for Ulta, so it was perfect! In general, I picked up some pretty great new products and I'm excited to try them all! :) 

Eye Products

BareMinerals Eyecolor in Queen Tiffany -- A really pretty frosty taupe loose pigment eyeshadow. My first loose shadow! I've been wanting to try a loose eyeshadow for a while now, and glad I got to try a Bare Minerals quality shadow. 

NYX Dream Catcher Palette in Dusk Til' Dawn -- A mix of warm and cool toned neutral eyeshadows. I got this to replace my lost Naked palette, and I must say so far I'm very impressed! These shadows are super pigmented, last all day, don't fade, travel, anything. Not gonna jump to conclusions, but this is an amazing dupe for the Naked palette, and I'd go so far as to say maybe even better because the color selection is a lot more diverse.

Wet n' Wild Eyeshadow Color Icon Eyeshadow in Comfort Zone -- A mix of neutral and jewel tone shades. Great for springtime or a fun look! I've heard these shadows are extremely pigmented, and I'm reallly excited to try them and possibly other W&W palettes in the future. 

BareMinerals Flawless Definition Mascara -- A basic black mascara. Haven't tried the mascara yet, but the brush look quite interesting. 

Face Products

Bare Minerals Blush in Golden Gate -- A peachy-pink loose blush. It's going to look beautiful this spring and summer season. 

Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in Dollface -- A light, baby-pink blush. I finally got my hands on this!!!! I'm so so so excited to try this blush. I tried some in Sephora yesterday and it looks absolutely stunning. Not too pigmented on my darker skin, but it makes me look like I have a slight natural glow. I'm a little bummed about the new packaging, but the product underneath is still gorgeous. 

Lip Products

Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Creme Brulee -- A creamy, nude lipstick.
Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Peach Parfait -- Peachy-pink shimmery lipstick.
Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Sweet Tart -- Sheer hot pink lipstick.
Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Berry Smoothie -- Sheer berry-pink lipstick.
NYX Butter Gloss in Apple Strudel -- Sheer baby pink lipgloss.
NYX Butter Gloss in Peaches & Cream -- Sheer hot pink lipgloss.
Benefit Ultra Plush Lip Gloss in Hoola -- Sheer golden-nude lipgloss.
Revlon Super Lustrous Lip Gloss in Pango Peach -- Shimmery peach coral lipgloss.
Revlon ColorBurst Lip Gloss in Strawberry -- Shimmery hot pink lipgloss.
Bare Minerals Marvelous Moxie Lip Gloss in Maverick -- Maroon lipgloss.
Nivea A Kiss of Olive Oil & Lemon Lip Balm -- The best lip balm ever! Super moisturizing and comforting on chapped lips. Smells so fricken good too, just like lemons.

Nail & Other Products

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nailpolish in Blue-Away -- Baby blue nailpolish. I realized I didn't have one in my collection, so I picked this one up because it was just so pretty and happy :) 

Revlon Parfumerie Scented Nail Enamel in Apricot Nectar -- Coral-colored nailpolish. I loved this color since it wasn't too orange and had a slight peachy tinge to it. When it dries, it has the most wonderful candy scent to it! 

Lush Bubble Gum Lip Scrub -- I needed a new lip scrub and decided to get this flavor since it was appropriate for Valentine's Day. It pretty much does taste and smell like bubblegum and I love the hot pink color. Definite pick-me-up! 

Lush Neon Love Soap -- My first Lush soap! Smells so wonderfully unique, kind of like cinnamon-rose. I got the tiniest sliver of it ($4.70 for a tiny piece too, crazy!) to see if Lush soaps really live up to the hype. I haven't had the best experience with bar soaps, so I'm hoping this one is moisturizing. It contains yogurt, so I am quite hopeful.

Well, that was quite a large haul! Definitely excited to try all these products, since so many have been on my wish list for quite a while now. I think a lot of these products will be perfect for both spring and summer, and cannot wait to start trying them :) 

January Favorites! ♥

Wow, I thought I'd never say it, but boy I've had quite a few stand out products this month! A lot of these aren't really new products, but things I've rediscovered while organizing my makeup drawer earlier this month. 

Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tattoo in Bad to the Bronze

Photo credit = www.indianvanitycase.com

L'Oreal Full Definition Volumnious Mascara

Photo credit = www.kristinasm.blogspot.com

Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Pink Truffle

Photo credit = www.xuvious.com

Neutrogena Deep Clean Cream Cleanser

Clinique All About Eyes Rich Eye Cream

Photo credit = www.dolcebeautyx.blogspot.com

Simple Sensitive Skin Makeup Wipes

Photo credit = www.inspirationshaveinone.blogspot.com

Tim Horton's Original Ground Coffee

Ed Sheeran +

Photo credit = www.edmundcamacho.com