Soul Searching

This post is going to be a rant.
I've recently started feeling quite alone and upset again. Hell, I don't even know where to begin writing this post. I feel like all my relationships are superficial and fake. I try and try and try and try to dig in deep and make lasting relationships, but they always fail. Not quite sure what's wrong with me, but every time I sit down to think, I really have nobody to depend on. No boyfriend, no best friend. I only have my family, who are amazing, but sometimes I wish I had someone else to rely on.
I know I have my own flaws. I'm actually quite well aware of them, despite what anybody else may think. But still, I try my best to be nice to everybody and get along with them, but somehow that's just never enough. I can never keep real friends no matter how hard I try.
Ever since high school, I can recall having acquintances and people I like to hang out with, but I don't remember a time when I ever had a best friend. You know, somebody I could go to with my secrets and someone who could depend on me to keep theirs. Maybe it's because I don't let anybody in, but still it would be nice to have somebody. For a while, I thought that somebody was Emma, but she's so busy with her jobs and her boyfriend that our relationship has become quite superficial. And then there's Katrina, who I thought could be my best friend. But even she found herself a boyfriend and hasn't been hanging out with me for a while. And then there's David. I thought we were good friends, but he's done some things recently to make me question otherwise and basically has diminished our relationship to one of convenience only. Even Divya, who isn't boy-crazy like other girls has somebody else now and a core group of friends that doesn't really include me. So I don't know what it is....maybe I'm an expert at driving others away. I don't exactly know. I would just like to have a single friend who is good to me, but that's become too hard to find apparently.
Just sick to my stomach really. I'm sure this post is full of grammatical mistakes but I just don't really care at this point. I don't know how to change because it's too late to make new friends. Everyone has somebody else they can rely on, except for me. I'm always alone. Still alone. Forever alone.

Recipes to Try! -- Week of January 20th

1. Lemon-Infused Water: I have a lemon sitting my fridge, and this is the perfect way to use it! I'm sort of getting bored of the drink-water constantly thing and this should be the perfect way to zest up my water so I'm actually looking forward to drinking it.

2. Ham & Cheese on English Muffin: Been meaning to try this for a while now! I absolutely love warm egg sandwiches in the morning and it's easier to make than I thought. The only time-consuming part is cooking the eggs, but once that's done, then it's just a 5 minute prep to make this wholesome sandwich. 

3. Red Potatoes: I don't have the Cajun seasoning that this recipe calls for, but I do have 3 red potatoes cut up and frozen. Not sure if they're going to thaw out just fine, but I really want to try, since potatoes = <3 I even have some frozen sweet potato fries that I may whip up with the red potatoes

4. Chicken Stir-Fry: Now for my dinner recipe this week! I've always wanted to try a stir-fry and the comments on this recipe all say that it's super simple and yummy. I bought a bag of frozen stir-fry veggies, water chestnuts, and sugar snap peas that I'm going to throw in with some chicken. Super nutritious, protein-filled, and (hopefully!) flavor-filled! Now I only need to remember not to overdose on the soy sauce...

Sunday Night Rituals

This post has been long time coming. I've always wanted to designate one day out of the week to be my de-stressing/relaxation day. The issue is that my schedule is so hectic and erratic that it's hard to pick out one, recurring day to be that day. But I think that since boards time is coming up and my stress has been peaking, it's time to plan out a weekly relaxation day. I'm thinking Sunday just because it designates the end of a week before the beginning of a fresh, new week.

List of things to do on my day off

1. Cook dinner for the week
2. Clean/organize room
3. Apply Mint Julep face mask or bleach face
4. Catch up on blogs and beauty videos
5. Sift through Pinterest posts
6. Update and review calendar/agenda for the upcoming week

FOTD/OOTD: Martin Luther King's Day!

 I had to go run some errands on MLK day and decided I'd get a bit jazzed up and do my first OOTD post! This has recently been my go-to natural look when I have a bit more time to do my makeup. Love this makeup look! Natural, yet put together :) Only thing is that I didn't add blush, but it would look super pretty with a light highlight or a light pink blush if you want a bit more color. My favorite would be adding some shimmery Tarte bronzer lightly to the tops of my cheeks to add subtle sparkle. It's lighter than a heavy bronzer, but darker than a highlight. I find that a lot of highlighting powders don't really gel well with my complexion, so I love using a little bit of bronzer on my cheeks instead when I don't want too much color. For this look, I'd stay away from a peachy blush since the outfit and lip are so pink and you wanna keep things monotone.

Face: bareMinerals Correcting Concealer SPF 20 in Medium

Eyes: Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tattoo in Bad to the Bronze

Mascara: L'Oreal Voluminous Mascara

Lips: Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Pink Truffle

Hair: Organix Nourishing Coconut Milk Anti-Breakage Serum

Keeping it real with a nice magenta top and my favorite, yoga pants! Chic, yet comfortable to go run around doing errands. It was somewhat nice on Monday so I decided to be bright and springy to channel my excitement for the upcoming season.

Added a nice light pink/baby blue plaid scarf to warm up my outfit a little bit. It was super chilly out! 

Spring 2014 Beauty List!

Drugstore
Physician's Formula Shimmer Strips in Warm Nudes
Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Berry Smoothie
Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Creme Brulee
Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Peach Parfait
Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Sweet Tart
Revlon ColorBurst Lipgloss in Strawberry
Revlon Super Lustrous Lipgloss in Peach Pango
NYX Butter Gloss in Apple Strudel
NYX Butter Gloss in Peaches N' Cream

Sephora
Clinique Chubby Eye Stick in Ample Amber

Physician's Formula Shimmer Strips in Warm Nudes -- $11.99 -- Photo credit = www.vampyvarnish.com

Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Berry Smoothie -- $7.50 -- Photo credit = www.cafemakeup.com

Revlon LipButter in Creme Brulee -- $7.50 -- Photo credit = www.beautizine.com

Revlon LipButter in Peach Parfait -- $7.50 -- Photo credit = www.makeuptalk.com

Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter in Sweet Tart -- $7.50 -- Photo credit = www.vampyvarnish.com

Revlon ColorBurst Lip Gloss in Strawberry -- $7.99 -- Photo credit = www.indianvanitycase.com

Revlon Super Lustrous Lipgloss in Pango Peach -- $7.99 -- Photo credit = www.ouihui.blogspot.com

NYX Butter Gloss in Apple Strudel -- $5 -- Photo credit = www.bohovanity.com

NYX Butter Gloss in Peaches & Cream -- $5 -- Photo credit = www.painted-ladies.com 

Clinique Chubby Shadow Sticks in Ample Amber -- $17 -- Photo credit = www.musingsofamuse.com

Valentine's Day + Get Fit January/February!

Valentine's Day is right around the corner and that means stores are coming out with their Valentine's collections! Now the issue is that since my favorite color happens to be pink, I'm in fricken LOVE with the cute packaging of all these new products. So I was thinking and instead of buying separate Get Fit January and February presents for myself, I figured I would just do a massive shopping spree and combine these with my V-day gift for myself :) It's going to suck to wait until February 14th, but the worth will be worth it! :) 

LUSH Neon Love Soap 

LUSH Bubblegum Lip Scrub

Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in Dollface

Benefit Ultra Plush Lipgloss in Hoola

Lush Neon Love Soap - $6.95 - bergamot, rosewood, figs, passion fruit, soy yogurt

Photo credit = www.lushusa.com

What really caught my eye was LUSH's V-day collection. We just got a LUSH store at the mall and when I first went in there, I didn't really the appeal of spending $10 on a bar of soap. I love their lip scrubs because they do an amazing job at smoothing my chronically chapped lips, but I've always wanted to try their soaps. One of their V-day products is this new soap called Neon Love soap. It's only $7, which is quite cheap for their soap products. And it looks SO gorgeous! I love anything heart-printed and this soap fits the bill. I've heard that their soaps are very luxurious and moisturizing, so I'm quite excited to try it out!

Lush Bubblegum Lip Scrub - $9.95 - bubblegum-y goodness

Photo credit = www.lushusa.com

The main reason I need to head to LUSH: I need a new lip scrub! I got my Popcorn scrub about 6 months ago, and it expires sometime in April. I'm not all the way through with it yet, but I'm a little bit of a germophobe and I don't know, I declare it's time I buy a fresh pot! I was considering getting Popcorn again, but I think I may try the Bubblegum scrub. Plus, it's pink which fits perfectly with the V-day theme. 

Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in Dollface - light matte pink

Photo credit = www.amarixe.com

Oh my, blush. Blush blush blush. It's been on my mind a lot lately for some reason. My first makeup obsession was definitely blush and it's really funny because I actually only have only 2-3 blushes I rotate between. So I think it's time to expand my blush collection by getting a light pink blush. I have quite tan skin, so I've never really purchased a lighter blush because I figured it wouldn't show up on my skin. Last year though, I got a sample of a Sephora brand blush and oh my it looked really good! It gives me a very faint color and looks super subtle. I think it would look amazing on an everyday basis, especially in these winter months when my skin is a little lighter. 

Benefit Ultra Plush Lipgloss in Hoola - $16 - sheer golden bronze gloss

Photo credit = www.xsparkage.com

This is literally the most perfect nude lipgloss. It has a very very golden color and looks beautiful with a heavier smoky eye or on its own. It's my secret weapon for looking ready in 2 minutes. It's especially beautiful for the spring-summer season. Also leaves the lips super soft, moisturized, and gives them a velvet-y feel. Tastes and smells like peach. Worth every single penny!

Cinnamon Sugared Doughnut Candle!

Photo credit = www.musingsofamuse.com

I was really disappointed this year when I didn't see the BBW Cinnamon Sugared Doughnut candle in the BBW Holiday 2013 Collection since I had really wanted to try it. Sooo when I saw the updates on the Spring 2014 Sweet Shop Collection at BBW, I was SO excited to see this scent finally return! And the packaging is soooo adorable! 

I'm actually in between these two candles (Red Velvet Cupcake and Cinnamon Sugared Doughnut). I'm waiting for them to go on sale for 2 for $22 but I'm thinking of just buying one candle since I have soooo many to go through from this past year. 

Looking at the rest of the BBW Spring 2014 collection, the packaging of all the products are all so cute! I'm definitely going to have to control myself next time I step foot in a BBW store!